I haven’t felt this way in what feels like a lifetime. But I can still remember the strength these sensations carry. It’s nice to be distracted from the bullshit in my head. Haven’t thought about my own emotional struggles for awhile now. Haven’t had the time or really even the room in my head or […]
I looked around this morning and realized something: I couldn’t recognize anything. Nothing seemed familiar. A song came on and it reminded me of how I used to feel and how I still feel on some days. It reminded me how I felt back then and how I wanted to feel back then. It was […]
I hit rock bottom at some point in the last 24 hours. It was an immensely terrifying place to find myself. I never expected to reach this particular low. Alas, here I am. The past few months have been a blur. I look in the mirror and have no idea who is staring back at […]
I often feeling unsettled by the things that transpire within my own mind. A haunting reminder of the sheer force of strength and will needed to remain in control of a seemingly infinite and unpredictable hub of thought, feeling and perhaps even spirituality. My dreams last night left me shaken when I awoke this morning. […]
I can feel it again. A changing within me. Not something new but rather a continuation of evolution that had already begun but had been halted by the past many weeks. Fear somehow slipped back into my life unnoticed as I began to spiral downward. I was completely caught off guard. I had no resolve. […]
I feel like I can stay above the surface as long as I keep my eyes focused on my objective but the moment I look at the storm surrounding me, I begin to sink. A famous story and now one I’m seeing first hand in relevance to my own life. I’ve tried so hard lately […]
Another night of no sleep. *sigh* I suppose I should be grateful that I’m at round three of trying to quit smoking. This is my third attempt in the last month. I usually make it 3 or 4 days before slipping back. Hopefully that won’t be the case this time. It’s just become so mentally, […]
Today marks the first day of the rest of my life. It’s mildly terrifying. I’m filled with both a focused optimism and a fair amount of alarming doubt. Regardless, I’m here now in this situation for what it is and every thought, feeling and decision is going to make or break me. Have you ever […]
I’m not sure if it was real. I remember it clear as day. But being the last one here – was it all a dream? The sea of people. The mesh of sound. Everyone was here. Everyone was there. We were young. Really young. Just entering the world for the first time. Like being born […]
Last night was maddening. Lying in my bed, tossing and turning from the time I laid down until the time I got up. There were small pockets of sleep but the recurring nightmares jolted me awake frequently. If my eyes weren’t shutting on their own from sleep deprivation I would’ve been more inclined to just […]