Two weeks of climbing out of the hole. Just when I could feel the warmth of light on my face, I lost my footing and tumbled downward—the bulk of my progress suddenly gone in an instant. Barely holding on to the last edge as the cold rocky bottom eagerly beckons me. I can feel it’s […]
It’s been raining for months. I see it when I look out my window. I see it when I close my eyes and look inside myself. I wait eagerly for the sun. I long for its warmth and its herald of hope. A gentle reminder that the storm can’t last forever. Alas, as the weather […]
I feel awful today. It’s a special kind of awful too. It’s the one where it’s not because of the day you’re having or the result of a particular event, it’s the one where the moment you open your eyes in the morning it washes over you instantly, shocking – like a splash of cold […]
I hit rock bottom at some point in the last 24 hours. It was an immensely terrifying place to find myself. I never expected to reach this particular low. Alas, here I am. The past few months have been a blur. I look in the mirror and have no idea who is staring back at […]
Sometimes I wonder if I’m the biggest idiot out there. No matter how much I claim to know better I somehow continually find myself making the same old mistakes and suffering the same old consequences. I know I can attribute some of my decisions to the overall way I’ve been lately, which is something like […]
Things have been quiet lately. Can’t tell if it’s the calm before the storm, the calm after the storm or if the storm is actually happening right now and I’m just entirely oblivious to it. I’ve been feeling something though lately but not sure what it is exactly. Part of me wants to say I’ve […]
I can’t breathe. And it’s not just the disgusting amount of cigarettes I’ve been smoking lately. The very air around me feels crippling. I feel surrounded by toxicity. Yet it’s exclusive. It seems to be the atmosphere I spew out unintentionally. I’m not unconscious to it. I know it’s there. I just don’t know how […]
As I continue to live my present life, I find myself increasingly haunted by the past and how it affects my present, along with my present and how it affects my future. What I know and what I feel are two very separate things. What I feel seems real but is ultimately fake and what […]