It’s been raining for months. I see it when I look out my window. I see it when I close my eyes and look inside myself. I wait eagerly for the sun. I long for its warmth and its herald of hope. A gentle reminder that the storm can’t last forever. Alas, as the weather […]
The hands of the clock seem to pick up speed as the countdown to the end of what has been and the beginning of something new, approaches. The day has almost arrived. I had known it would come but now that it is nearly upon me, it seems as though it had crept silently in the […]
My dreams lately have been a hurricane of bizarre, scrambled formations of thought, feeling and concepts that my mind and soul desperately seem to be trying to piece-together and reconcile. The result is thought and feeling from the distant past, merging with my current reality while borrowing elements of a future my mind has reached from […]
The leaves fall once again and as I sit and watch the golden parade of color, I can’t help but contemplate all that has changed in this last year for me. It has been monumental. Filled with both tragedy and pain but also love and growth. It often takes hardship and struggles to ignite change […]
I feel awful today. It’s a special kind of awful too. It’s the one where it’s not because of the day you’re having or the result of a particular event, it’s the one where the moment you open your eyes in the morning it washes over you instantly, shocking – like a splash of cold […]
I haven’t felt this way in what feels like a lifetime. But I can still remember the strength these sensations carry. It’s nice to be distracted from the bullshit in my head. Haven’t thought about my own emotional struggles for awhile now. Haven’t had the time or really even the room in my head or […]
I looked around this morning and realized something: I couldn’t recognize anything. Nothing seemed familiar. A song came on and it reminded me of how I used to feel and how I still feel on some days. It reminded me how I felt back then and how I wanted to feel back then. It was […]
I hit rock bottom at some point in the last 24 hours. It was an immensely terrifying place to find myself. I never expected to reach this particular low. Alas, here I am. The past few months have been a blur. I look in the mirror and have no idea who is staring back at […]
I often feeling unsettled by the things that transpire within my own mind. A haunting reminder of the sheer force of strength and will needed to remain in control of a seemingly infinite and unpredictable hub of thought, feeling and perhaps even spirituality. My dreams last night left me shaken when I awoke this morning. […]
Another night of no sleep. *sigh* I suppose I should be grateful that I’m at round three of trying to quit smoking. This is my third attempt in the last month. I usually make it 3 or 4 days before slipping back. Hopefully that won’t be the case this time. It’s just become so mentally, […]