I’m not sure if it was real. I remember it clear as day. But being the last one here – was it all a dream?
The sea of people. The mesh of sound. Everyone was here. Everyone was there. We were young. Really young. Just entering the world for the first time. Like being born I guess. Leaving high school, thinking you own the world, only to arrive and discover you know nothing about it. It didn’t matter though. We had friends. We had booze. We had energy, optimism and a desire to simply live in the moment and truly enjoy it. We had community. We were united by our youth. We were ready to make mistakes. We were on a quest of self-discovery and we would leave no stone unturned. As time went on, thats exactly what we did.
But thats the problem. Time did go on. Friendships changed. Quests became fulfilled and completed. Unexplored territory became explored and resolved. Questions became answers. Things got concluded. The once thriving hub now reduced to a select few. A select few that grew fewer all the time. The months passed. The years passed. Almost a decade passed and then I looked around.
Everyone I ever knew was gone.
Most got married. Many moved away. Some died.
I remembered the once thriving community now, reduced to nothing. Just me. Sitting here, sipping this beer as I always have only instead of a sea of friends before me, I see only my reflection. The odd man out. The last to be here. The one who didn’t know what he wanted and so now he remains trapped between worlds. Watching those around him transcend into the lives they would live and find meaning in, as he remains wondering, where did the years go? Where did the people go? Now the question remains as it always has, what is my path? I cannot see it.
So I’ll drink until I see it.