an overwhelming bombardment of feelings stirs so many thoughts. such random triggers that invoke contemplantive moods. thinking about the past, present and future. so many mistakes made, so many left to make. on the otherhand, what lies in store around the corner? good or bad, it will come. the winds of time blow, bringing with them an ever-moving state of change. welcome to our world, the world of humanity. a world where you will walk by another person and think

how wrong we are. we are led to believe that the world revolves around us and how we are feeling. we feel isolated, alone and like no one understand but the reality is, everyone goes through similar feelings and circumstances, but you’d never know by just looking at them. were all good at wearing masks and putting on a smile for others to see. we never really let on how were truly feeling unless it’s with those we trust but even then, they might not understand.

on the contrary, no one knows how you feel but you. we are unique in who we are and how we feel. there are different emotions for all of us and different things that trigger those emotions. for example, right now I am listening to song that has no lyrics, it is just a symphonic tune from a video game I used to play (it sounds nerdy but wait for it).

this song is from a video game I played all the time when I was in the 8th grade and in listening to it, I feel as though I’ve travelled back in time (ironic that the game’s storyline was based on time travel heh heh). I feel like I’ve travelled back to the 8th grade when life was so much more simpler in so many ways. a time when my family was intact, when I had my dog, when I didn’t have to work to pay any bills, when the only thing I had to wory about was school dramatics. I want to just live in that time frame, to never leave and to simply be and remain happy. but as soon as the music stops, reality has set back in again and I know the truth. I’m dreaming about a time that once existed and will never exist again. and that truth must be accepted.

I guess that’s what makes us human. our mortality on earth and our requirement to deal with the ever changing state of our lives, where nothing is constant but change itself and the emotions that all of this invokes upon us. not only that but we have to learn to live with these emotions, as overpowering as they might be.

with each passing day is a new page. whenever time decides to bring in the winds of change, the pages are done and conclude the chapter. when all the chapters are done, so ends the story of our lives here on earth. it’s such a difficult and depressing concept to grasp but a concept that we must come to terms with nonetheless.

2,456,984,567,890 feelings running through my head right now. some of them are only normal to be feeling at this point in my life, others are feelings I am forced to deal with as a result of things I ‘ve said, done or will do, and the last of the feelings are feelings I must deal with as a result of the choices others that are close to me have made.

so this is my other big, long ramble of how I’m feeling and all of these realizations and philosophy’s that I’ve reached. boring I know but I feel better if I write out how I’m feeling. after all, what are blogs for? I know this entry is similar to my last one but still, new things were said so it can’t be that bad. anyways I’m off to bed.

ps. two years ago I warned of a killer snow storm approaching in one of my xanga entries (if you looks back, you might find it). don’t be fooled by these past sunny days with no snow. winter is coming for you. stay in your homes.

-brandon